This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
