He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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