Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
