Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
