the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
