There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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