my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i dont even know how to be here
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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