she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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