i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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