quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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