She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you traded sex for a burrito?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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