i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
