scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
