Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
