I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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