i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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