there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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