Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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