Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
