In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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