Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize