ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
