I think i peed on brittanys purse
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
