Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
