I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he was CRYING into my vagina
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
