ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
