we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
