Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
