he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
