sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
