What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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