your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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