went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
