were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
