well most of my day revolves around power hour
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
