Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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