you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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