Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
