4 words: hood of his car
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am naked and annoyed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
