well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
