Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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