we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
