Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
