drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I will die if light touches me.
high people should be assigned attendants
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
