Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
