Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
