from now on my penis is your penis
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
