There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
