Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
