this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
