Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
