butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
