Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
