I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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