we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
