I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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