It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
