Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
