i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
