you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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