32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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