I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This gyro tastes like lonliness
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
