Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
