i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Success! We fucked roommates!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
