I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
