I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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