Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
