So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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